PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tommy Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe Lang (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Thundercunt's entrance music is You are a Cunt. A fine choice. Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!

Thundercunt
vs
Lang

197 cm
26
260 lbs
11 - 0 - 0

198 cm
27
240 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

Decent wrestler
Great elbows
Cardio machine

BJJ White Belt
Lethal high kicks
Powerful

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Tommy Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Joe Lang!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Santiago Holmes and Michael Johnstone.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lang tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

Thundercunt closes the distance and pushes Lang back into the cage.
Thundercunt tries to work over Lang's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
A left hand lands to the body for Thundercunt.
Lang fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Lang blocks it.
Lang is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables Thundercunt to keep the fight standing.
Lang stalling against the cage.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.

Thundercunt breaks from the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Thundercunt drops Lang with a beautiful combination! Lang stares up at his opponent, who ushers him back to his feet - Thundercunt is looking for the KO!

It looks like Joe Lang has been cut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lang just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Lang blocks a leg kick.
A head kick by Lang misses

and Thundercunt counters with a crisp right hand that drops Lang! Thundercunt lets Lang back up to his feet, looking for a finish!

Lang is rocked!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lang walks into a picture perfect straight right hand from Thundercunt! He's gone down face first to the canvas, unconscious before he even hit the floor! Ohhhh. My. Goodness! That boys and girls was a beautiful knockout! Give that man a biscuit!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:06 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Tommy Thundercunt!
Our winner, Tommy Thundercunt, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.