PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Expendable Crewman V (ranked 574 p4p, 24 weight class) and Super Meat Boy (ranked 448 p4p, 17 weight class). Crewman V comes to the cage accompanied by Star Trek. Super Meat Boy has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Crewman V
vs
Meat Boy

200 cm
30
286 lbs
14 - 8 - 0

190 cm
28
300 lbs
16 - 6 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Conviction
Groove Gear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Expendable Crewman V!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Super Meat Boy!
The judges for this bout are William Gold, Daniel Bishop and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Crewman V checks a leg kick nicely.
Crewman V misses with an uppercut.
Crewman V connects with a crisp jab.

It looks like Super Meat Boy has been cut.
The fighters circling - Meat Boy throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Meat Boy thows a body kick. Crewman V tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Crewman V definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Meat Boy cracks a nice hook into Crewman V's ribs.
Meat Boy throws a wild body kick that Crewman V sees coming a mile off.
Crewman V connects with the punch.
Meat Boy misses with a low kick.
Crewman V lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Meat Boy rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
letting Crewman V counter with a right hand.
Meat Boy with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Crewman V to score with a decent uppercut.
Super Meat Boy seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Nice shot by Crewman V.
An inside leg kick from Meat Boy misses.
Meat Boy misses with a body shot.
Meat Boy on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Crewman V moves out of range as Meat Boy strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Crewman V rushes Meat Boy and presses him up against the cage.
Meat Boy blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

Crewman V breaks the clinch.
Crewman V takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Meat Boy throws a half hearted mid kick.
Meat Boy walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Crewman V checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Crewman V displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Meat Boy throws out the jab.
A little feinted left hand from Crewman V on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Meat Boy ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Meat Boy closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Crewman V slips a jab from Meat Boy.
Meat Boy has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Crewman V finds it's way round the side to connect with Meat Boy's head.
Crewman V lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Crewman V takes one on the chin but seems OK.

It looks like Expendable Crewman V has been cut.
Crewman V is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Crewman V lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Crewman V is looking to slow Meat Boy down with leg kicks.
Crewman V is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Crewman V misses with a body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Meat Boy slips under a jab from Crewman V.
Meat Boy throws a lazy body kick

and Crewman V counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Crewman V.
Crewman V tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Meat Boy lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Crewman V backwards.
Crewman V lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Meat Boy misses with a punch to the body.
Meat Boy misses with a body punch.
Meat Boy lands a body shot.
Crewman V has had enough of the clinch but Meat Boy keeps him there for the moment.
A left hand lands to the body for Crewman V.
Meat Boy tries to work over Crewman V's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Crewman V fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Crewman V misses with a punch on the inside.
Crewman V misses with a hook from the clinch.
Meat Boy lands with a short shot to the head.
Meat Boy scores with a shot to the side of Crewman V's head.
Crewman V throws a head punch that misses.
Crewman V tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nice body punch from Meat Boy - that landed with a thud.
A short uppercut from Crewman V.
Meat Boy misses with a body punch.
Crewman V goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Crewman V lands a nice shot to the body.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Meat Boy.
A shot in the inside from Crewman V.
Crewman V lands a hook to the side of the head.
Meat Boy is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Crewman V working aggressively here.
Crewman V misses with a punch on the inside.
Meat Boy lands with a left to the head.
Meat Boy scores with a shot to the side of Crewman V's head.
Crewman V misses with a hook from the clinch.
Meat Boy tries to throw a body punch but Crewman V avoids it by throwing Meat Boy back against the cage.
Crewman V lands a shot to the body.
Meat Boy lands a body shot in the clinch.
Crewman V is breathing heavily.
Crewman V blocks a body shot from Meat Boy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A right hand to the body from Crewman V.
Meat Boy lands with a left to the head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Crewman V breaks from the clinch.
Meat Boy lands with a kick to the ribs.
Meat Boy throws a body shot but no joy.
Meat Boy steps in with a hook that catches Crewman V right on the chin and knocks him to the floor! Meat Boy follows him down with more strikes and that's all she wrote! Crewman V looks absolutely devastated.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:26 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Super Meat Boy!
Super Meat Boy decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.